Have any of you guys ever felt that you are on the bottom of a huge hole? Yea, that is how I feel right now. It’s been a while since I posted something on Tumblr, and I’ve been reading my previous posts.
I’ve recently started going to CSULB, majoring in health care administration, and have learned the hard way about how hard school can be. I have never been the studious student in my entire life. I was probably the person who procrastinated through class. All I can say is that CSULB made me grow up. Lately, I have been going to school just to study because I can’t study at my house. This experience has already changed me, and I’m guessing it is for the better. I would have to say that I have grown up. Even though I’m 21 years old now, I really don’t have the urge to go out anymore, rave, or do stupid shit. I started thinking about my future and figuring out what I want to do with my life and who I want to spend it with.
Another thing that has recently changed with me is my relationship status. I know that before I said that I found the love of my life, but I think that I realized that I was just young and naive. The hard thing about growing up is realizing that some people are just immature. Although I had been with my boyfriend for two years, I will say that I did love him. He was once my future husband, but all of that has changed now. I feel that I realized that I needed someone else. I really don’t know. I feel sad but I don’t know if it’s from stress caused by school or just my recent break up. I don’t really think I would want to start another relationship again real soon. I feel that I still have lingering feelings for my boyfriend. I was once very happy with him and I have been with him for 2 years. That was my longest relationship.
All of these two factors has caused me to feel like I have hit “rock bottom”. I’m sure that this feeling will pass with time. Maybe things will get better with some alcohol and after midterms.